A Shortcut to Mushrooms: A Hobbit story
by The Halfling of the Shire
Summary: Merry and Pippin have an adventure stealing mushrooms from Farmer Maggot. Oneshot THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE DISGUSTING AND SICK LOVE STORIES BETWEEN PIP AND MERRY! This is a friendship story, mostly dialgoue. Please R&R!


A Shortcut to Mushrooms

**Disclaimer: I own neither Pippin nor Merry, nor their characters, nor Farmer Maggot or any names mentioned. They all belong to my hero, J.R.R. Tolkien.**

"Come on, Pip!" He called. His smile was warm and young, for he was a little boy, indeed, littler than anyone you or I know. For he was a hobbit. And on this particular day Mariadoc Brandybuck had been romping through Farmer Maggot's fields again. Ever since Frodo Baggins had done so the Summer before, they'd been itching to do it. And they finally did. They stole the farmer's mushrooms. Sure, Frodo had scared 'em quite a bit when he mentioned Maggot's dogs, but nevertheless the two rascals had creeped up to the fields, past the corn, past the strawberries (it's true they did grab a few handfuls of those on the way) and past the barley until they came to the eve of the wood, where there were mounds and mounds of mushrooms!

"We're rich!" the younger one shouted with glee. Peregrin Took, known by friends as simply Pippin, had just spotted the mushrooms, and so the two of them, hand in hand, ran up and then pulled out a sack and began to gather as many mushrooms as they could grab. And I can't rightly say that I knew which received more mushrooms, their mouths or their little sack, but before too long they could hear dogs barking, and the trademark shouting of Farmer Maggot that they got to know quite well. Too well, in fact.

The two Halflings stared wide eyed at each other. Then suddenly "Run!" they cried out in unison and darted off, Merry slinging his sack over his shoulder and Pippin grabbing his wrist and yanking him along. They got out just in time and the farmer called his dogs back. They hobbits' kept their momentum as they slid down the hill and then tripped and ended up rolling on their backs laughing together. At the bottom of the hill they lay there, not moving, just smiling and gasping for breath.

"Well done, Merry," Pippin said, still panting.

"What? You were the one that decided to get the mushrooms BEFORE dinner!" Merry teased.

"I know!" he protested. "I was hungry!" He rubbed his tummy, which growled as if on cue.

"But," said Merry, rolling onto his side and propping up on his elbow. "You ate fifteen minutes ago." He pointed out sensibly.

"So? We got out in time. And in one piece!" his cousin said, pointing a victorious finger at the other.

"Barely." Merry muttered. "But what d'you mean, 'well done, Merry?' It sounded sarcastic!"

"Me? _Sarcastic?_ Now really, Merry!" Pippin grinned.

"Haha. Seriously, Pip. What was the supposed to mean?" Merry insisted.

"Nothing. You're just lying on top of the mushrooms, that's all."

"What?!" came the shocked reply.

Pippin laughed as his cousin sat up hurriedly and noticed that he had indeed, rolled over and over on his sack of mushrooms and had just been lying directly on top of them. Cries of despair escaped his mouth as he realized that his prize was lost and he stood up and stomped all over the grassy hillside.

"All that… for nothing!" he shouted.

Pippin just continued laughing.

"What is it?" Merry eyed him suspiciously, stopping his rant for a minute.

After calming down a bit, Pippin regained his breath and said "That's, okay Merry, it's not all that bad...after all, I once knew a mushroom who was such a _**'fun-guy'**_ and!" and he began to laugh again and could not continue his sentence. Merry, not at all pleased at his joke, just sat down and put his head between his knees, crossing his arms and patiently waited until Pippin's fit calmed down.

When it did though, Pippin lay on his back. It had gotten darker and he was now looking at the stars. "C'm'ere, Merry!" he encouraged. "That groups of stars looks like a bunch of strawberries, doesn't it?" Merry tried to put his grudge aside and he lay down next to his friend.

"Where?" he asked.

"Right there." said Pippin, pointing toward the heavens. "See it, Merry? Right up there."

"It doesn't look like a strawberry to me, Pip." He said sorely. "It looks like a cluster of stars, just ignoring us, not caring what we think at all." He fell silent.

"I'm sorry, Merry. I didn't mean to wound your feelings." His friend apologized.

"Guess what?" he asked

"Please, no more jokes, Pip. Not now. I don't mean to be mad. I'm just…I dunno. Frustrated, you might say."

"Sorry," the little Took said, a small mischievous smile crossed his lips. "Would you still be so frustrated if I told you that I had stolen some mushrooms for myself and hid them in my jacket? All perfect ones, I might add."

"Really?' said Merry, sitting up and looking at Pippin. "Honest?"

"Honest," said Pippin. "And I know I should have told ya first thing, but I'm glad I decided to wait. Here," He handed three round, white, perfect mushrooms to his friend. "-"- for you."

"Well, thanks, Pip!" Merry grinned. "But how'd you keep yours from smashing into crumbles?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I stuffed my hands in my pockets and cupped them like this, see?" his friend confessed.

They lay back down and munched quietly until the treat was gone.

"Got any more you're hiding from me?" Merry asked hopefully

"If I was hiding them, would I tell you?" Pippin challenged. "But no, I don't. Sorry."

"That's okay."

They were quiet for a while

"You think they'll be missing us about now?" Pippin asked presently.

"They'd better! My mother made an apple pie tonight, and they'd better not eat it without me!" Merry said, sitting up. "I picked all the apples!"

"How many were there, Merry, _three_?" Pippin teased.

"No!" Merry said, getting defensive. "There were _four_ I'll have you know, but I had to pick a whole basketful!"

It was quiet for a few minutes as each hobbit sat pondering.

"What time d'you s'pose it is, Merry?" Pippin asked.

"Oh, bother it, Pip. You ask a LOT of questions!" he said.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"There you go again! We'd better get home soon." Merry said, standing up. And being the boy (not quite a tween yet) he was, he did not dust of his pants and grass-stained knees. Neither did Pippin.

"Can I go home with you?" Pippin asked.

"What? Why would you want to do that? Your home is closer than mine, and it's getting dark already!" Merry mentioned.

"But your mother makes better apple pie then my mother does, and mine usually cleans up after supper right about now." He argued hopefully.

"No, they'd worry about you Pip. And my parents would never forgive me if I brought home a surprise guest. But, listen, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"…Alright, but the next time my mom makes strawberries and cream…" Pip began.

"Okay, Okay. How about this," Merry suggested, not wanting his best friend to bargain with his favorite treat. "I'll save you a slice and bring it to the picnic tomorrow."

"Hm…okay. It's a deal" Pippin agreed. And they went their separate ways shouting good nights and telling each other how much fun they had and how they'd love to do it again.


End file.
